I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just forgot I was standing up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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