I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's get the cat blown out
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
