my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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