Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
