Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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