I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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