Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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