Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
