what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Reggie can tackle my bush.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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