either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
