If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
