are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
