It's Friday. Sex?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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