with your own penis?
this beer tastes like vomit already
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize