so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize