The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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