I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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