ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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