They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
