youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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