Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
