Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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