chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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