"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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