Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
