I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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