hotel room ftw
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
