I just saw a hot homeless man
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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