exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
