i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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