He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
