Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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