toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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