i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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