Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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