She is in my trunk
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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