all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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