omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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