Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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