Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
