he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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