I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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