Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
