Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
