I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
