Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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