There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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