corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
