dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize