You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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