Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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