I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Say something about gay babies.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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