what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
